Oct, 2020
I am not really focused on the glitter raining from the fluorescent lights
because every layer of my skin is burning with pain
With fire
My vocabulary has corroded to that of a 3rd grader
but I understand your elegant words and
they make me miss who I used to be
When I was 5 I rode the elephant in the Ringling Brother’s Circus and
fell
In
Love
I know you are a fucking liar about everything in life
because you once talked about keeping water in your car
in case your 66 VW bug overheated
It makes me anxious
waiting for the world to see what a fucking liar I am
Jesus was a cool guy
but his father is an abusive ass
When I was 16 I sunk into a deep, depression-fueled, self-harm binge
When I learned how emotionally intelligent elephants are
Because that made the abuse they suffer
so
much
bigger
Lucifer was a cool guy
But his father is an abusive ass
I used to be really good at metaphors, but now I suck
Like a person who sucks at metaphors
Encaustic is one of the coolest forms of visual art
You paint with hot wax and take a torch between each layer
It is a greek word, which means “to burn in”
The fire is necessary
The pain is necessary