Passing Mask

My great, great grandmother 
On her deathbed 
Told her darkest secret
To her eldest child.
Her mother was Ojibwe
But she could pass as white. 
So she did.
Burned every trace of who she was
Not even her husband knew. 
She swore the child to secrecy
We must hide this great shame to survive. 
And so it went. 
Great grandmother carried this shame
And only told my grandmother as she died. 
Finally able to share this burden.
As my grandmother grew older she did the same. 
Only my uncle laughed 
at the great family shame
And shared with his siblings. 
Thinking the shame 
could finally be laid to rest

While his siblings looked into
How to get their share 
Of their tribal money.


5/3/2017

I wear my privilege like a mask
So I can pass as
Hetro
Christian
middle class
None of which are who I am
This mask has saved my life on more than one occasion
It cracks when I forget to keep my mouth shut
And my real identity burns through
I am lucky to have this mask
Handed down from ancestors who passed

Grandmothers who passed, while their sisters were burned

Grandfathers who passed, while their families were gassed  in chambers masked as showers

Uncles who passed, while their brothers were hung 

Aunties who passed, while their cousins were sent to prisons masked as boarding schools

I have this mask because they kept silent and survived
Their tears have burned the inside, polished the outside
I know how blessed I am to pass
But, I would like to drop the mask
And just be human